-Less is More-

I’ve had a lot on my mind these past couple of weeks as we started a new year. Every year, I always try to think of a word to represent what I will strive for in that year to come. I’ve struggled to find a word this year. I don’t think that I’m going to choose one. I always make resolutions and do pretty well until mid-February and then I fall off. As many Americans do. I have struggled for months to find “more” in every aspect of my life it seems. I want more money, more quality time with my husband and baby, more consistency, more energy, more motivation. What I have realized is that I don’t need more of any of those things. What I need more of is Jesus and all those areas will naturally feel fulfilled. My life feels as if it has been dull. Ever since Liv stopped nursing I have felt a sense of sadness and lack of motivation to do anything. Seriously, it takes everything in my power to do the laundry or do the dishes. Which starts another battle with feeling like I’m being a terrible wife and I’m slacking on my wifey duties. Again, I need more Jesus. We are so richly blessed so why don’t I feel like it? Why do I still feel as if something is missing? Why do I never feel content or happy? As I have set aside some quiet time and have been reading God’s word more, I have come to a very tough realization. It’s not what I need more of, it’s what I need less of. I need minimalism. Simplicity. I need less things and more memories, love, purpose, and intention. Why am I on this earth? Why did God create me? What is His purpose for me? I’m pretty positive that it’s not constantly feeling unhappy and wanting “more.”

A few verses that have really stuck out to me lately are: And he said to them, “Take care, be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” — Luke 12:15

“Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” — Luke 12:33-34

“Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.” — I Timothy 6:6-8

It is pretty evident that God is not impressed by our material things and possessions. What He treasures is focus on Him, focusing on our purpose, and taking care of the people in our lives. My love needs to be poured into Him rather than focusing so much of my time wanting “more” of whatever it might be that day. A person of contentment is way more desired than a person of wealth and possessions. We can’t take anything with us when we leave this world and we can’t “work” on ourselves anymore. The time is now. When I let all of those thoughts and feelings go, when I sell things in our home that have no value or meaning to me, when I choose to live joyfully and content. The time is now. So farewell 2016. No resolutions, no word, just ACTIONS. This year will be different. This year will be my year where I really find myself and when I really find my Jesus. I’m excited for a new beginning and am not at all sad to say goodbye to an old me.

-Letters to Liv- {16 Months}

16 Months! Here we go! You are the chattiest and sassiest little thing that I've ever seen. You are driving your Daddy's nerves bonkers and it's secretly funny to watch. You loved the holidays so much this year and you were so fun to watch on Christmas. Last year, you were a little bitty almost 4 month old. I hate how time flies so fast. I miss all of the little things you did and the way you made me feel as a baby. But then I really love this phase you're in as well. Watching you grow and learn things every day warms my mama heart. You are developing so perfectly and your language has really exploded this month. You jabber and really think that you're saying things all the time. You got a kitchen for Christmas and your imaginative and pretend play skills are really emerging and I love it. You will put something in the microwave and say "beep beep beep" like it's done. It's so cute. You still love music and dance all the time. You can be crying in your car seat and the minute we play music you are dancing and clapping your hands. We turned your car seat around a couple of weeks ago and you love it so much more. You can see things out the window and you've started labeling objects. Even when we're driving, you'll see the train and say "choo-choo" or say "tree" when we pass by the trees. You are really into your baby dolls again. You love to push them in their stroller, rock them, feed them, and even try to swaddle them. You're little mind works so fast and you get bored with a lot of things after a while. You are so into any task that I give you and you have to feel like you've accomplished it yourself or you get upset. I have no idea where you get that! You love to color. Give you a pen and paper and you are busy for a while. I'm going to start introducing you to new tasks that are more sensory based. I think you will love it. Your appetite has changed quite a bit. You only want to snack and that's it. If it doesn't have sugar you don't want it. It's driving me crazy, but then you'll have your days where you eat so much I have no clue where you put it. You won't hardly touch any veggies now and are still a fruit girl. Your teachers say that you are the best little helper at school. You help them clean up the toys and the tables and you talk non-stop all day long. I think you've been going through another growing spurt because you've been limping quite a bit lately. You are better now but for about two weeks you were limping pretty bad. You've also started to try to sing. ABC's, Rock-a-bye baby, Itsy Bitsy Spider and you are gesturing to songs. You can identify all of your body parts and are understanding way more than you let on. Your current word list: car, go, bye bye, hi, baby, boo, hot, what's that?, shoe, eye, horse, dog, woof, cat, bubble, sock, ball, eat, that, mama, daddy, no, choo-choo, light, tree and a whole bunch of unitelligible words haha. We love you so much, sweet baby!!

Love, Mama

-Christmas 2016-

I'm not sure why Christmas just didn't feel like Christmas this year. The entire month of December went by so fast, we were so busy that we didn't have time to just stop and enjoy the season. I hate that! I hate how busy and hectic life gets sometimes. Christmas is my favorite time of the year and I found myself in a bad mood more often than a good one this year. However; I will say that this is the first Christmas ever that I have literally not cared to receive one gift. You might think that sounds awful because Jesus is ultimately the perfect gift that any of us have received and that's all that matters. You're right, He is. Children and even some adults have a difficult time realizing that it is not about the gifts. I wanted to start our own traditions with Olivia after she was born. I wanted to bake cookies for Santa, read a Christmas book every night in the month of December, take her to see the lights, and other traditions. Once again the month was so busy that none of that happened this year and that makes me so so sad. I feel like Bradley and I are working ALL the time and she's always at Preschool. We're either at basketball games or getting home late because of work hours. Have I mentioned that I hate this? I want to be present! In my life, in my child's life, in our marriage, with our family, at church. I want to be present! Christmas will never ever be like it was this year. I won't let it. We will take the time to enjoy one another and if that means letting some things go, that's what we will do. On Christmas morning we woke up early so Liv could open her gifts and we could get ready for church. She loved being in the comfort of our own home after a long trip to my parents. She was excited to open gifts with Mama and Daddy and she kept going up to the video camera and telling it all about her new toys. She has outgrown almost all of her clothes and shoes. I didn't know if we would make it until Christmas for her to get new clothes. I had to break out one pair of boots a week before because her little feet were so cramped in the ones she had. She grows so stinkin fast. The girl loves clothes and shoes. This might be the only Christmas that she will appreciate socks and clothes but hey! they're necessities. She loved everything she got and the look of surprise with every gift she opened was priceless. We then went to church and she was so exhausted. We had a great lesson on the significance of the manger that baby Jesus was laid in. I love learning about Jesus and the history of His birth. It was so great to have service on Christmas morning.

-Thanksgiving 2016-

We had a really great Thanksgiving. We spent time with Bradley's family and it was such a low key day which made it that much better. This was Liv's first year being able to eat Thanksgiving dinner and she loved it. She's not a big meat eater, like me, but she loved turkey! We always spend Thanksgiving with Bradley's side because my family does Christmas really big. Like a whole week type of deal which I love! This was the first year spending it without his uncle there. He passed away this past September and it has been extremely hard on everyone. His presence will forever be missed. He was a one of a kind guy who was always laughing and joking. From the day he met me he accepted me and never once failed to ask me how my entire family was doing every time he saw me. The holidays are always so hard when you've lost loved ones. I lost my Nenny 6 years ago the week before Thanksgiving and it never gets any easier. We are forever thankful for the years and times that we did get to spend with them. I hope everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving.

-Letters to Liv- {15 months}

15 months?! How? How are you 15 months old?? I have spent the majority of my nights lately looking through old pictures and videos on my phone of you. Watching you develop and grow throw them all over again. Time goes by so so fast and even though I felt like I soaked up every minute when you were little, it's so easy to forget the little things. You are the most independent little thing. You don't want anything done for you, you have to do it yourself. We're already semi- hitting those toddler twos. You are so smart and beautiful, my love. I still can't believe that God chose us to have you. You have the sweetest little soul. When we pick you up you hug us so tight and pat our backs. You have become SO obsessed with your daddy. You always want him around and you cry so hard when he leaves you. He loves that so much! I have watched y'alls relationship grow into something that will never be broken. The way he looks at you with so much joy and protection melts me every time. You are literally running everywhere and jabbering all the time! You have around ten consistent words right now and you understand wayyyy more than what you can say. You have the intonation down for "what's that? and there it is!" You still eat pretty well. You don't eat near as many veggies as you did when you were younger but, you wipe us out of fruit. And don't let you see a french fry. You would snack all day long if I would let you. Just like your mama.We recently took your pacifier away. We had been trying to only give it to you at nap and night times, but you knew it was still around during the day and if you saw it you were wanting it. So after school on Tuesday I decided to just snip the nipple off of it. You freaked out for a solid hour because it hurt your feelings so bad. You moved it all around your mouth trying to figure out a way to suck it and finally just gave up and threw it. You went to sleep easy that night, but had a fussy next day at school. Other than that you have surprisingly done really well without it. You can identify nose, eyes, mouth, ears, and feet on yourself and on us. You still love books more than anything and your newest thing is giving us a surprised look with your mouth open so wide when you see new things. We put our Christmas tree and decorations up the day after Thanksgiving you LOVE it all. When you woke up from your nap that day you were so excited to see the tree. Now, everyday when we get home from school you go around helping me plug all the Christmas lights in. This Christmas is going to be so fun. I can't wait to start our own little traditions. Love, Mama. **Word list** dog cat mama dada ew! eye eat shoe hot what's that? there it is!

-Happy Halloween 2016-

We had a pretty good Halloween. Harding had Homecoming the night of our church and neighborhood trunk or treat so we missed them. We had the kids go around the building to trick-or-treat at work and Olivia loved it. Until she figured out that it was me behind the glasses. She still cries every time she sees me in the hallways, but quickly calms down. She was Doc McStuffins this year and boy, did she love her costume. She didn't want to take it off. She's still not old enough to eat any candy but she got a lot of it. They also had a little party that afternoon and I got to sit in there with her. She loved it so much and I was thankful that I got to be there. That was the first party she has ever experienced. I can't believe how much of a difference a year makes. Halloween will get more fun every single year and I can't wait.

{Letters to Liv}-14 Months

Livy, You are growing up so so fast these days. You are currently taking your morning nap as I write this. I love our Fridays together. We spent most of the morning eating snacks, watching Finding Nemo, and reading your books. You still love a good book. You love anything educational really. You still bring us your variety of 100 First Word books and will back up into our laps, open them, and immediately start pointing and will either ask "what's that?" or name what you're pointing to. You are literally growing up. I can't keep clothes and shoes that fit you right now. We just bought you a ton of clothes for when you started preschool in August and you've already outgrown the majority of them. Let's just say Christmas can't come soon enough. You are so independent and want to do everything on your own. You love to help me cook and clean. You are TERRIFIED of the vacuum cleaner but are just fine if I'm holding you while using it. You want to do all the sweeping and get so upset if I don't let you. Your favorite thing to play with is Mama's wallet. You take everything out, spread it all out, put it all back in then repeat the process. You love anything with a challenge. You talk ALL the time. It is still mostly jabbering but every now and then you can throw out a real word and we have a dance party. You imitate everything or at least try to. You have 8 teeth now and I swear your teething will be the death of me. You literally clean us out of food and I don't know where you put it all. Your daddy and I joke all the time that the majority of the grocery trips consist of "your" food. That's okay though, we want you to eat. Any kind of pasta or fruit are your favorite foods. You have dialed it back on the veggies and won't hardly touch them anymore. If I would let you snack all day you definitely would. You sign "eat" all the time and shake your head yes or no. You know what it means when I say "are you wet? or did you poop?" You will point and look at your diaper and go straight to your room to get it changed. Then you love to go throw it in the trash. You are starting to prefer taking a shower with mama rather than a bath lately. I think it makes you feel so big to be in there with me. Your daddy has easily become your favorite person. The minute he walks in the door you scream "dada!" and start running to him. Melts me every single time. We have been attempting to get rid of the pacifier, but you are pretty attached to it. Especially at night. You are getting too old for it though so this shall be fun. Oh, and your teacher put a ponytail in your hair yesterday for the first time and it was SO cute! We love you so so much baby girl. We love watching you grow, but also hate it at the same time. Love, Mama