{Letters to Liv}-10 MONTHS

Livy,

My, oh my, is your little personality coming out. You are currently ignoring me as I tell you not to pull on Daddy's computer cord. Needless to say you do not like the word "No" right now. You just ignore us or act like you didn't hear/don't know what it means, but you totally do. You are understanding more and more everyday. You probably learn a new word every day or two now. You love to learn. You'll go grab objects, bring them to us, and hold them out like you are trying to ask "what's this?" It's so cute. You love crawling in circles through the kitchen and into the living room. You love to play with water bottles and drink from them. The sippy cup drinking is not going so hot right now. You would prefer to drink from our open cups rather than you hold one and drink through a straw or nipple. You are still waking up every hour or two during the night to nurse. You are a little dare devil now that you move all around on your own. It's making me nervous in our bed now. It's about time to start trying to transition you to your crib and to only bottles and that is NOT going well at all. You are probably going to be very difficult to wean from nursing and when I try to just give you a bottle, you scream and won't take it. Then you look up at me with that puckered lip and I swear you say "Mommy." It breaks my heart in two and I cave in every time. I have hopes to wean you completely by the time you turn 1.

You are getting pickier with the foods you eat now. You definitely have your favorite things and preferences. You do not like peas or green beans. In fact you don't ever gag on anything and you had green beans for the first time again a few nights ago and gagged so bad. You are not a fan of brown rice but still love broccoli, cauliflower, fried ham, apples, and of course your black beans. You had black beans, avocado, and a whole wheat tortilla for dinner the other night and was in heaven. I need to find more meals for you now that you can eat meats. We'll see what I come up with and what you like this next month.

You finally cut your first tooth last week and you have been saying a whole lot more. I'm definitely convinced now that teething and speech production go hand in hand during development. I swear you have said "cup" and "ball" in context, but it could just be that I've literally been listening for anything. Last night you finally said "babababa" in a true babbling way. I was so so excited and of course you wouldn't let me get a good video of it. I know the rest will come soon and you might even start producing single words rather than really babbling. Which would be more than okay, too. You still haven't said "mama" or "dada" but I know it's coming because you have the /m/ and /d/ consonants. You blow raspberries all the time now and think it's so fun. If you can't figure something out you will grunt at it and it's hilarious. You started clapping your hands this past Sunday all on your and now you do it ALL the time to get a reaction out of us. You understand cause and effect now and you love all of your little ball popper toys.

You still love to be chased, tickled, sung to, played with, take a bath and you love to take Nova outside. You will sprint crawl to one of us so we can take her out. You love it. You also love to just be outside period. We went to Grandma's community gathering at her church this past Sunday afternoon and you had your first sno cone. You are definitely an observer. It took you forever to open up to everyone and come out of your shell. You are totally my child, that's just like me.

Your first birthday party planning is in full force now. We are going up to Nana and Papa's for the 4th of July this weekend and I'm excited to see you swim in their big pool and watch fireworks for the first time. We love you so much and love this stage you are in.

Love,
Mama

-Confessions of a Working Mama-

I've blogged about this before, but for the past couple of weeks I have been really upset and emotional about having to work. I don't know if it's because Liv is starting to do more and I feel like I miss more than I see or if I'm working more hours and days than at my previous job. All I know is that I have been feeling major guilt over having to work and I hate it. When I switched jobs back in April it was because we were moving closer to Bradley's job because he got promoted to head coach. I was so proud of him for that but I was really sad over having to leave my job. I knew it was great and they offered therapists amazing perks for working there. I went from working 3 fairly easy days a week to working 3 very strenuous days a week. About two weeks ago I realized that my schedule was just too intense and I was way too exhausted to keep doing it. So I spread my schedule out into a half a day on Thursdays. Before Liv was born I worked 4 days and it was wonderful. Then after she was born I knew I wanted to drop my package to 3 days a week. I found the perfect balance in that. 3 days at work, 4 days at home with her.

When deciding to switch jobs, the main thing was that we want her to start daycare in August after she turns one. She has never really been around other babies this whole year and I think it's time for some good social interaction. My previous job had a daycare for employees kids, but it was not in the same building as me and I felt like I wanted better for her. That was my number one request in looking for a job closer to where we were moving to. I worked at Easter Seals about 4 years ago when I had to take a year off between undergrad and grad school. I loved my job as a Behavior Tech at CRC. I loved CRC so much and my ultimate professional dream has always been to go back there as a Speech Therapist. Easter Seals had an opening back in April, but it was at their Preschool and Outpatient building. It wasn't CRC, but it was the building with the preschool and Liv got a spot in the baby room in August. In the beginning I felt like it was going to be perfect. My schedule was crazy ridiculous and I had to work until 5 everyday and see a lot more kids. I realize that there are many mama's that do not have an option to work less and they have to work 5 days a week with their babies going across town to daycare. I realize that I am blessed with getting what I actually wanted for Liv and I need to suck it up.

It's so hard to though. Especially because it's summer time and Bradley is getting to stay home with her until she starts daycare. I chose to be a therapist so I could have flexibility when I had babies. I just want to feel like that again. We are currently looking at our options for my schedule and package, but I"m not sure if anything will change unless our therapy department makes some changes. I am very unhappy, negative, emotional, and irritable over it all right now. I'm praying that I can make it through the summer and see how it is and how I feel when she starts daycare.

I'm constantly thinking of ways that I could make some extra money so I could stay home more and I hope I come up with something soon. Although I am NOT interested in Plexus. In fact, if one more person contacts me about trying Plexus or selling it, I am going to scream!! I have been going to the Bible a lot lately trying to get some understanding for the way I've been feeling. I honestly think God is making this weigh on my heart so much because he didn't intend for us mama's to work. He intended for us to be keepers of our homes, to raise our children to rise up and us blessed. My dream has since shifted to wanting that. To envisioning a life where Liv and I hang out together all day long (of course doing some language enrichment throughout the day) and having a healthy, well-balanced meal ready for Bradley when he walks through the door in the afternoons. Or be able to get pot-lucks ready for his basketball team before away games. But I also dream of a life to where Liv has the finer things as a child. That when she gets old enough to participate in extracurricular activities we have the money so she can do the things she wants. That we have a comfortable home that we all love coming to at the end of the day. I pray that I will one day feel that perfect balance again and feel as if I am doing the things that God has called me to do.

{Letters to Liv} -9 Months

Liv,

Where do I begin? You have taken off developmentally this month. It's crazy how fast you learn and show us new things every single day. You have been such a trooper during this extremely busy and unpredictable time for us. You have surprisingly transitioned very well through it all. At your 9 month appointment you weighed 19 lbs. 3.5oz. and were 29.5 inches long. You still don't have any teeth and you wake up in the middle of the night screaming because your little gums hurt so bad. The doctor said that you have extremely bad eczema and had to write you a prescription for a strong ointment. You will claw yourself so bad in the bends of your arms that you make your skin raw and bleed. She said that you are still perfect and super tall. 

We stayed with Uncle B for a week while we were waiting to get in our new house. You loved it. You spent the days with him and Daddy until Nana came down and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. They ran practice and you loved spending time in the gym and watching the boys dribble and shoot. Daddy taught you how to dribble the ball (you just pat it) and you were so happy. You are already a gym rat and we love it! Uncle B has a coffee table and you learned how to pull up on it the first night we were there. You had only pulled up on the bed which was super short at the time. You attempted to cruise but were just a little too scared. Now, you cruise every where on every thing and you are a little dare devil. You think you can just take off and go and you get so upset when you can't.

Just a month ago you were barely scooting around the floor on your belly and now you are up on all 4's crawling around every where. You love to take off and be chased. You will laugh so hard when we get down in the floor and crawl after you. You are not loving your jumper as much now that you can move on your own. You definitely prefer that. The first thing you do in the mornings when you wake up is try to get down in the floor and play. You are starting to vocalize a little more now that you are moving around. You are still not babbling and you are still making me stress over it. Just in the past week though, you have started producing /b/ and /g/ sounds consistently. When I point to Nova and say "dog" you will say "guh". Sometimes when we play peek-a-boo you will say "buh". You still prefer to just smile at us when we try to get you to talk. Hopefully when your gross motor skills slow down you will start talking. That's what I keep telling myself. You are at least identifying "dog", "cat", and "ball" in books and objects. You know that I am Mama and your daddy is Daddy. You know Nova and that she's a dog. You can go get your books when asked and when you are in the mood. You will say "ma" when you are mad but that's it.

You are still sleeping with us for now. You love to lay down in our big bed now; throw your little arm around my neck, play with my hair, and snuggle your little nose into my neck. I love it so so much. I don't want to transition you to your crib but Daddy says we need to. You have been waking up a lot more at night recently and nursing every hour or two. I think it is just a comfort for your hurting gums. Now that we have a king size bed you are all over it. You will sit up and just fall forward and roll all over the place until you are tired. I always know when you are ready to sleep when you start rubbing noses and humming. You do it every time you get tired. You also love to tear any kind of paper all up. You would much rather play with things that are not your toys. You find tupper ware lids so amusing right now.

Your absolute favorite thing to do right now is eat. You are a little piglet and we love it. You just had spaghetti for the first time the other night and oh my, did you love it. I gave you plain noodles with a little butter and you threw a fit and wouldn't even touch them.So I gave you a bite of mine and you LOVED them. You dug right in and cleaned your plate. It could possibly be your new favorite. You eat black beans like they are going out of style and at this point there isn't anything you won't eat. Which is awesome. We are still trying to get you to take a sippy cup. You just aren't crazy about the weird shaped nipples. You love to attempt to drink from our straws so we just bought a sippy with a straw to see how you do. You are growing just beautifully though.

I can't believe we will have your first birthday in just 3 short months. It doesn't even seem real. I have already started planning for it. You are the apple of your Daddy and I's eye and we love you more than you will probably ever know.

Love,
Mama