I am writing this blog today with many different thoughts and emotions running through me. For some reason this school year has already gotten me so bitter and unmotivated. Seriously, I get in such a bad mood when I have to get up and go to class or do homework. I don't know if it's the fact that I love being married and all I want to do is stay at home with my husband or what, but I'm struggling with a lot of different things. I find motivation to read my Bible and study God's word but when Sunday rolls around it's hard for me to get up and "want" to go. Thankfully, I have a wonderful man that does his duty and holds me accountable for things like that. One of the only things that I have at least some motivation for is my off-site practicum. I am currently at St. Vincent's Rehabilitation Hospital and it has opened my eyes to a whole new world of Speech-Pathology. Before this off-site began I was not very excited about having to work with adult patients, but we have been in it almost 3 weeks now and I have grown to love it.
One thing I love about it is getting to see patients that have been married 50+ years and how much love they still have for one another. The other day, there was a patient in the office working on his cognition. He barely spoke or participated in therapy. His wife walked up to the glass window and his face lit up. He was so happy. The therapist asked him "Who's that?" and the man replied "My wife, my sweetheart." In that moment while I was in the middle of a session myself, tears swelled in my eyes. There is something about seasoned love that gets me every time. On another occasion, we were working with man who had status/post stroke leaving him with left side facial weakness. One of his main goals for therapy was to be able to kiss his wife again. With his facial weakness it was hard for him to adequately pucker his lips to achieve a meaningful kiss. As I worked with this patient, I kept thinking, how would I feel if I couldn't kiss Bradley the way I wanted to or I couldn't remember that he was my husband?? I worked extra hard as his therapist, even though I am still a student to help him achieve his goal. On his day of discharge, right before he left, he wanted to show his wife how good he could kiss her. Right before they headed out the door he grabbed her head and planted one of the biggest kisses EVER on her. As she cried with tears of joy, so did I.
I have thought about that experience everyday and every time I kiss my husband. This placement has strengthened my love and dedication to Bradley in three short weeks. When I think about our future I get so excited to grow old with the man that I love so much. We tend to always think about the positive things, but what happens when something goes wrong? Will you still love that person unconditionally? Will you stand by their side even if they are not the "same" person anymore? All these questions run through my mind daily and I have learned how to cherish and love Bradley more than I ever have before.
He's my best friend, my soul mate.
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